There’s only one reason for us to dine at Mike’s Kitchen: The Slaughterhouse Fifteen!
Ribs, that is… To be more specific, 15 huge BBQ Pork Ribs smothered in Mike’s special basting sauce.
They’re a feast to do battle for, a worthy prize for any gladiator! But are you up to it? Before you begin, let us run you through what to expect…
Firstly, you need to book a table. Only the foolhardy attempt a walk-in, and they soon admit defeat.
Here’s why…Mike’s opened in Robina Town Centre in 1996 as the only Australian member of the South African franchised Mike’s Kitchen. They quickly gained a loyal clientele of Aussie and South African troops, who lined up outside the door clanging their shields to gain entry. When the shopping centre was refurbished in 2007, the restaurant relocated to the old Tudor Rose. There’s plenty of parking in the new premises, but the added disguise of a Tudor mansion. African-Tudor? Yes, there are incongruities, but of course the Tudors loved a huge carnivore feast as well!
Anyway, you’ve come to the right place. Overlook the details because, in this case, the terrain has nothing to do with the battle!
Forget the niceties as well. What warrior needs tablecloths! You’ll be sitting at a rough timber table with jungle animals prowling around you, but don’t be misled; it’s not a zoo! Far from it! The meat trucks will pull up out the back, laden with racks and racks of ribs to unload ready for battle, the kitchen has been slaving away all night in preparation, and the ruined piles of ribs will be carted away after each night’s carnage.
You see I’m only talking about the ribs. You have a fair choice of other meat – steak, chicken, seafood, as well as entrées and desserts, even a token vegetarian meal thrown in, but take our advice: Be bold! Head for the main event!
Forget battle preparation; all you need is a healthy appetite. You’ll be given your weapons after you’re seated: serrated knife and fork, plastic-lined rib bucket, finger bowl of water, and a serviette large enough to use as a bib. Moisten your lips in preparation and let the games begin!
Our rack arrives, 1 kg to share, the Main Squeeze and I starting at opposing ends. The beast yields willingly to the knife as we pick up our first bone each. A butter knife would have done the job, I think! The tender fall-off-the-bone pork ribs are smothered in a smoky sweet basting sauce. Succulent and juicy, we’re not exactly sure how they’re prepared, (it’s as much a secret as the sauce recipe), but our guess would be that it’s a long slow and laborious process including boiling, basting and grilling; the usual tricks of the trade refined over generations.
Who cares about secrets? The end product gets the Main Squeeze salivating just thinking about it, and after a hard day of shed building he’s busy tucking in! Knives and forks, fingers? There are no rules of battle, just a race to the middle. He knows that I’m a short-winded fighter; that after three or four ribs I’ll be out of puff, so he’s in no hurry, but there’s still a sigh when the spoils of war have been consumed. A job well done, the last of the mess mopped up with a few chips. Who would have even known that a beast had been conquered? The plate’s been wiped clean.
So, what’s the price of the conquest? $48.95 seems hefty for a rack, but it’s a full kilo and, as a meal for two, it’s a very tasty treat indeed!
Take our challenge and tackle the Slaughterhouse Fifteen yourself!
P.S. Apologies to Kurt Vonnegut! (NOTE: The number of ribs in 1kg may vary; the weight does not!)
2 Gooding Drive, Merrimac Ph: 07 5530 5236